fearsome

Okay. So we all know I am a big ninny who gets a thrill out of bullying turkeys half her size. (No I'm serious. They are THAT big. Humongoloid turkeys tread here). I'm a big big weenie.

And now I have something new to dread. And when I tell you this new thing I fear you are NOT ALLOWED to pass judgment.

Trees.

Yep. Trees. And this from your bona fide tree-hugging-not-a-hippie-would-be-farmer.

I went for a bicycle ride yesterday. For about half of it, as I was cruising along a beautiful eucalyptus-lined pasture, my heart was in my mouth. I was truly terrified. More terrified, in fact, than those times when I was living in the hut in bear country and always had to go outside to pee in the middle of the night (accompanied by my trusty fire-poker). That, my friends, is terror. And so was this.

You see, it had been raining. All night, and all morning. 'Yeegads!' you say? 'Raining on trees? What horror!'

Ever heard the term "widow-maker"? Yep. That's when a tree limb suddenly comes crashing down on top of some man's head leaving his wife a, you guessed it, widow.

In my case, it would be an "orphan-maker" (my poor boy Eddie!) and a "make-family-angry-er...maker". You don't understand. I have seen many HUGE limbs come crashing down into the pastures. Especially after heavy rains. So when they loom over my head, I get a little nervous.

ih. Trees... if you hug them, you're probably okay. But when you're done? Run.